Your dad touched me again.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Randomize
