dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
The awkward moment when a lady ask you what kind of lipliner you're using, but really I have just finished eating hot cheetos.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
It was like Strip poker and blow, but with Yu-Gi-Oh cards
Randomize
