i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
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