ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
Randomize
