The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
Randomize
