I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
but real talk, he made 1 phone call last night and had someone bring us tacos at 3am so idk I might be inlove
Randomize
