If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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