i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I lost my bra, he lost his virginity. Seems like a fair trade off.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize