i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
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