Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
Naked Twister starts at high noon
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
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