i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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