Guys are so much hotter at OU. Come my mating season, I am flying south like the geese in the wintertime.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I didn't notice because vodka
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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