Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Randomize
