just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
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