so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
