Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
