Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Randomize
