weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
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