I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
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