I think i peed on brittanys purse
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Randomize
