What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
You have not lived until you've puked on your sequined UGGs in the Rite Aid parking lot while going to buy emergency contraceptives.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
This friendship isnt goin to work if you dont respond to my drunk texts
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
