South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
