Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Great. Now I'm always going to be the roommate that boned a guy with a third nipple.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
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