i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Ran into a tinder match at the bar last night. We spotted each other and started making out without speaking any words to each other. Fuck yea technology!
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
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