That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
A toast to whoever set this year's daylight savings fallback to the day after halloween, granting us another hour to detox before we pretend to be functional adults. Clearly, a partier with forethought and clear priorities. Cheers!
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
Randomize
