holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
time to play the game of how much Christmas shopping I can get done before these shrooms kick in
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
