At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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