i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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