I like my sex mixed with concussions.
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Randomize
