so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
i'm gonna friendzone myself so you dont have to
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
