exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
