Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
