I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
A burger king employee called me from your phone while you were on their bathroom floorl. Hope ur not in jail....4 realz
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
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