Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize