The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Randomize
