I wish I could teleport
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
you tried turning the bar into a spelling b competition last night and every time someone couldn't spell something you would make them chug.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Randomize
