I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Congratulations! We have a period
Randomize
