How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
best googles of the semester: toe fucking, purpose of two nostrils, human tail. with pictures
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
In the middle of pouring my wine you asked me if I could hear your vibrator from my room.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Just made a PowerPoint called "Reasons Why You Should Fuck Me" at his request. The sad thing is we've had sex before...
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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