dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
