Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
Just woke up. I have a "Detective Jacob Arnold's" business card in my pocket.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
3pm strippers are depressing
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
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