I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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