Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
