He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
