Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
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