spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
