stop calling my apartment porn island.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
