I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
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