Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Randomize
