We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
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