found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I could make wine with my vomit
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
i just deleted quailman, hot hawaiian dude, appalachian swimmer, and connecticut from my phone
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Randomize
