Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
