Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
YOU ARE THE WORST TRAVEL AGENT! THIS IS A SINGLES CRUSE FOR SENIORS. THEY ALL THINK IM THE FUCKING WAITRESS JUST CAUSE IM BLACK!!!
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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