god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Randomize
