North Korea, Best Korea!
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
