i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I think I breastfed the cat at some point during the night, at least that's what my nipples are saying
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
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