You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
My sex life reached a new low tonight: we stopped into this bar so I could pee and when I got out of the bathroom my parents had ordered a round for us and this traveling nurse they met and were trying to run game for me. Saddest part? She was actually going for it.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Randomize
