I think im going to throw up on grandma
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
It's probably just the physical manifestation of slut karma. But i of course mean that in the kindest way possible because i love you and respect your choices
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Randomize
