conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Literally breaking up to my boyfriend while jamming out to Feraglicious
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
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