I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Randomize
