mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Houston, we have a squirter
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
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